[ Oh dear. He figured something might be up when the impromptu request to spar was... well, so impromptu, but being met by the sight of a really pissed off kohai catches him off guard just a little. Still, he greets Yuji with a wave when he arrives, looking a little more well-rested, slightly less haunted, lighter around the shoulders for having helped to fix one of his grievous wrongs. The pilgrimage with Muramasa has done him good. ]
It's rare to see you this angry, Yuji-kun.
[ Gentle prodding disguised as a mild observation, but he's not actively prying. (Yet.) He's prepared to take the Maki approach here in which he lets her work it out physically first (read: trounce his ass) before attempting to talk about whatever might be bothering her. ]
[ When was the last time he was genuinely mad? He was a lot during the Culling Games, but that was the kind of anger that came from righteousness. This anger that he is feeling now is the bitterness of being hurt and not being sure how to deal with it other than lashing out. He wants to calm down, he just isn't sure how he's supposed to do it and not completely lose his mind.
[ He hasn't been privy to much of Yuji's anger, stuck on his own during the Culling Games as Yuta had been, and so the obvious ire seems all the more starker now. There's a soft hum he offers in response, head tilting as he considers Yuji with a pensive expression for a brief moment before simply settling on the Maki approach.
He takes a momentary detour, stepping aside to set down his sword bag and wakizashi where they won't be in the way (Yuji had wanted hand-to-hand after all) and only sparing the sim room the barest of curious glances before his full, undivided attention returns to Yuji with a nod. ]
[ The Sim room doesn't need to be set up for more than just a basic training space, and then they're at it, throwing punches and hits at a speed that would be horrifying for an outsider to witness. It's fast and brutal, and Yuji's not blind to the fact that Yuta seems to be letting him do it.
Whatever.
It's only when they're nearing the end and his body feels wounded and bruised that he stops, falling back and breathing out with a sharp noise. ]
[ Yuta will never find enjoyment or meaning in fighting the way the majority of sorcerers do, but he understands the merit of sparring and all the ways it can help to communicate things that cannot be put to words. It's a great way to get to know someone and their state of mind, too. So he takes the brutality thrown his way readily without complaint or batting an eye and although he does not hold back himself, Yuta does lean more towards defensive moves in their ferocious dance of traded blows. A good excuse would be that Yuji with all his wild, raw strength is just better suited when it comes to hand to hand combat and Yuta is playing it safe, but they both know better. There isn't really a need to play it safe between them when they know one another's fighting styles as intimately as they do.
He's just letting Yuji wear himself down, to give all that anger an outlet in the form of a target to hit and grapple with. If Yuta ends up aching, sweaty, and out of breath himself? Well, that's a small price to pay if it can help a dear friend.
The tight tension in his frame, poised to give or receive a hit, is released with a heavy exhale the moment Yuji falls back; it's signal enough. ]
[ The fight wears him out, makes him feel that muscle-deep exhaustion that makes him feel better, makes him feel as if he can breathe out and relax, settling down into something that eases the burden on his heart. He feels a little better, but he can't say whether it's completely better or not... Not really.
The emotions are still there, but they're easier to deal with, easier to feel a little more comfortable in his own skin.
[ Although not wearing quite the same dead-eyed blank expression as he does in actual battle, there's a cousin to it sitting on his face in the form of flat, neutral determination — focused. It is dropped in an instant at the verbal confirmation that their sparring session is over, replaced easily by a good-natured smile as Yuta proceeds to stretch himself out languidly like an overgrown cat, relishing the satisfying pop in his spine and the lingering burn in worn muscles. ]
I'm glad to hear it. Anytime, Yuji.
[ Utter sincerity in the words. And then lightly, without expectation or pressure, just gentle curiosity: ]
[ Another shift in Yuta's demeanor to quiet concern at Yuji's pained look. He doesn't press immediately, just moves himself through some cool down stretches as he waits patiently for his junior to continue, refraining from even mentally speculating when he has no idea what could have possibly upset Yuji this much.
He certainly could not have expected the question asked. He pauses mid-stretch, blinking in surprise. ]
Nanami-san's? No, I didn't.
[ In all fairness, he barely knows the man on any personal level; had only a few interactions before being send abroad and then... well. When it comes to the adult sorcerers in their school life, he knows Kusakabe far better than he ever did Nanami at this point. ]
Yuji's not really sure, not even after talking to some of the others. He had plans, a cake he wanted to bake, things he wanted to do, but for now... He feels pathetic. Weak. Stupid.
[ For a brief moment, Yuta is mostly... confused, feeling very much like he's missing something obvious or that he's out of step somehow. There's a certain kind of sullenness to the words that follow the sigh that clue him in a little though; Yuji's close with Nanami (Nanamin, he remembers), isn't he?
But then it clicks all at once at that last statement. ]
Ah, but you wanted to celebrate it with him?
[ Without further ado, Yuta is promptly plopping down onto the ground to sit cross-legged, patting the floor in invitation for Yuji to join him. ]
[ It's probably obvious that Yuji is upset, given he's dropped the nickname in his frustration.
Stepping over, he flops down beside Yuta, crossing his arms and trying not to look so put out and childish. It's hard not to feel that way, though, for various reasons, and he nods his head, glancing away. ]
[ Yuta watches his friend join him and try to suppress his upset with no judgement, the mild furrow of his brow holding only concern. (Heart on his sleeve, so easy to read. Yuta's reminded, a little, of his baby sister.) He might not know the entire situation, but he understands (so very well) that there is added weight to the occasion given that Nanami is dead back home.
He gives a soft hum of understanding. ]
I see. And they didn't include you in their plans at all?
[ Which is... strange. It's hard to imagine Choso would do anything to upset or exclude Yuji when he's made his little brother the center of his universe. The image of Choso, unwell, standing at the entrance of the ruins leading into the Underworld looking like a man possessed still lingers. ]
[ Trying to explain himself and the argument gets him wound up, because he can’t tell if his reaction was fair or too much or something else entirely. It’s hard to explain to people who don’t know why this is such a painful experience for him, but maybe Yuta will get it. If there’s anyone who can, it’ll be his senpai, who’s probably lost as much as he has.
It’s the nature of their world. ]
Mm, no. He messaged me yesterday saying he was taking Nanami away and that was that.
[ He can see the winding tension and in a bid to help, Yuta's shifts one knee to gently press against Yuji's; the initial bump a brief distraction from the rising upset to halt it however momentarily or just a grounding, reassuring point of contact (or both) without being too intrusive or obvious about it. He listens duly with patience, frown steadily deepening with each word spoken. ]
At such short notice?
[ He can't quite keep the slight incredulous surprise from his voice or face. ]
That's understandable. He would have known you'd wanted to spend time with Nanami-san, wouldn't he?
[ It's enough; it does help, and Yuji does relax a little, even if there's a lot still rolling around in his mind. It's hard to swallow it all and focus, but he knows it's probably better to get it out of his head, to confess it to someone who will definitely understand, with their shared pains and losses.
[ It's reassuring to know that what works for him — little tactile touches, something to tug on his senses and keep him in the here and now — also works well for Yuji. He leaves his knee where it is as a physical reminder that he's not alone; an anchor to hold fast against the turbulent waves of emotion.
The trip being planned quickly does not sound like a good excuse. Certainly not given the information that follows. Yuta's left somewhere between indignant on his friend's behalf and just... really confused. ]
That seems unusual for Choso-san.
[ But he might not have the full context here, so he's not making any real snap judgements just yet regardless of the further furrowing of his brows. ]
Does he know about... [ There is no way to speak of it that will not sting, he knows all too well from experience. (Years later and it still hurts to say the words aloud, to acknowledge the tragedy that happened.) Yuta tries to tread lightly anyway. ] About what happened with Nanami-san back home?
[ It's an anchoring thing, keeping him settled at the moment, despite the heat of the simulation room, despite the sweat on his face, despite the heaviness of his heart. It feels okay, somehow, as if he can sink into the depths of his feelings, to let it burn through him and then disappear once it is all completely processed. It's not going to go away forever, but at least for a little bit... He might be able to feel better.
Frowning, he stares at his hands, his missing fingers, and he lets his mind churn. ]
He knows Nanami died. He doesn't know how, or anything like that.
[ It's not something that Yuji talks about a lot.
Not really.
The memory of Nanami there, burned and hurt. The memory of Mahito, reaching out to touch him. That the last real touch Nanami felt was that curse, the cruelty of his fingers, the knowledge that he was going to die... It sickens him. ]
I don't think he meant to hurt me. Not until the end of the argument, anyway.
[ His thoughts race, still fast and a little jumpy for the adrenaline rush from before, as he takes all these pieces of information offered to put them together and try to form a full picture that makes sense; something that he can look at as objectively as possible and rationalize. Problem is, with every piece added, it only makes less sense to him. Possibly it doesn't help that he does not know the exact nature of the relationship between Nanami and both Choso and Yuji (he's important to them, that much is obvious and perhaps all that matters) or the man himself, but Choso has always felt simple enough to understand with that absolute single-minded focus on family.
He knows Yuji planned to do something for Nanami's birthday, he knows Nanami died and thus would know the added weight the day carries, and yet...?
He makes a noise, close to a soft hum, sympathetic but with his bewilderment bleeding through. ]
Still, he knew, that's- [ Hm. ] Did you have a disagreement about something else before that...?
[ It feels, to Yuji, like he has had a lead weight in his chest this whole time.
Nanami is dead. He’s not going to go home with them. He’s not coming back, and this is it. The idea of missing those precious moments and those important memories makes him ache and hurt, makes him feel that all too familiar grief - the knowledge that something else has been taken from him. It keeps slipping through his fingers and he doesn’t know quite how to manage it.
Instead… He carries it all in his heart.
Shaking his head, he sighs. ]
Only the stuff with Eresh-chan, but we talked about that, so…
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hand to hand
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you'll have to show me how the sim room works, it'll be my first time using it.
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meet you there?
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[ He's just gotta portal hop, but he won't delay for this sudden rare request. ]
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It's rare to see you this angry, Yuji-kun.
[ Gentle prodding disguised as a mild observation, but he's not actively prying. (Yet.) He's prepared to take the Maki approach here in which he lets her work it out physically first (read: trounce his ass) before attempting to talk about whatever might be bothering her. ]
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[ When was the last time he was genuinely mad? He was a lot during the Culling Games, but that was the kind of anger that came from righteousness. This anger that he is feeling now is the bitterness of being hurt and not being sure how to deal with it other than lashing out. He wants to calm down, he just isn't sure how he's supposed to do it and not completely lose his mind.
Frowning at Yuta, he shakes his head. ]
Are you ready?
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He takes a momentary detour, stepping aside to set down his sword bag and wakizashi where they won't be in the way (Yuji had wanted hand-to-hand after all) and only sparing the sim room the barest of curious glances before his full, undivided attention returns to Yuji with a nod. ]
I'm ready.
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Whatever.
It's only when they're nearing the end and his body feels wounded and bruised that he stops, falling back and breathing out with a sharp noise. ]
Okay.
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He's just letting Yuji wear himself down, to give all that anger an outlet in the form of a target to hit and grapple with. If Yuta ends up aching, sweaty, and out of breath himself? Well, that's a small price to pay if it can help a dear friend.
The tight tension in his frame, poised to give or receive a hit, is released with a heavy exhale the moment Yuji falls back; it's signal enough. ]
Satisfied?
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The emotions are still there, but they're easier to deal with, easier to feel a little more comfortable in his own skin.
Wiping his face, he breathes out softly. ]
... Yeah. I feel better. Thanks, Yuta.
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I'm glad to hear it. Anytime, Yuji.
[ Utter sincerity in the words. And then lightly, without expectation or pressure, just gentle curiosity: ]
Do you want to talk about it?
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[ For a moment, he looks... Pained, stretching his arms out as he comes down from the high of fighting, expression twisting ever so briefly. ]
Did you know it's Nanami's birthday?
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He certainly could not have expected the question asked. He pauses mid-stretch, blinking in surprise. ]
Nanami-san's? No, I didn't.
[ In all fairness, he barely knows the man on any personal level; had only a few interactions before being send abroad and then... well. When it comes to the adult sorcerers in their school life, he knows Kusakabe far better than he ever did Nanami at this point. ]
I'm afraid I don't really know him that well.
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Is it foolish?
Yuji's not really sure, not even after talking to some of the others. He had plans, a cake he wanted to bake, things he wanted to do, but for now... He feels pathetic. Weak. Stupid.
He sighs. ]
I guess I don't either.
[ A shake of his head. ]
Choso took him away.
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But then it clicks all at once at that last statement. ]
Ah, but you wanted to celebrate it with him?
[ Without further ado, Yuta is promptly plopping down onto the ground to sit cross-legged, patting the floor in invitation for Yuji to join him. ]
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Stepping over, he flops down beside Yuta, crossing his arms and trying not to look so put out and childish. It's hard not to feel that way, though, for various reasons, and he nods his head, glancing away. ]
Yeah. I did.
[ For the first time ever. ]
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He gives a soft hum of understanding. ]
I see. And they didn't include you in their plans at all?
[ Which is... strange. It's hard to imagine Choso would do anything to upset or exclude Yuji when he's made his little brother the center of his universe. The image of Choso, unwell, standing at the entrance of the ruins leading into the Underworld looking like a man possessed still lingers. ]
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It’s the nature of their world. ]
Mm, no. He messaged me yesterday saying he was taking Nanami away and that was that.
[ A sigh. ]
I got really mad at him.
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At such short notice?
[ He can't quite keep the slight incredulous surprise from his voice or face. ]
That's understandable. He would have known you'd wanted to spend time with Nanami-san, wouldn't he?
[ If they're both that close to him.... ]
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Yuta will get it... Right? ]
I think it was planned really quickly.
[ Not an excuse, but... Yuji waves his hand. ]
He admitted that he knew, and did it anyway.
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The trip being planned quickly does not sound like a good excuse. Certainly not given the information that follows. Yuta's left somewhere between indignant on his friend's behalf and just... really confused. ]
That seems unusual for Choso-san.
[ But he might not have the full context here, so he's not making any real snap judgements just yet regardless of the further furrowing of his brows. ]
Does he know about... [ There is no way to speak of it that will not sting, he knows all too well from experience. (Years later and it still hurts to say the words aloud, to acknowledge the tragedy that happened.) Yuta tries to tread lightly anyway. ] About what happened with Nanami-san back home?
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Frowning, he stares at his hands, his missing fingers, and he lets his mind churn. ]
He knows Nanami died. He doesn't know how, or anything like that.
[ It's not something that Yuji talks about a lot.
Not really.
The memory of Nanami there, burned and hurt. The memory of Mahito, reaching out to touch him. That the last real touch Nanami felt was that curse, the cruelty of his fingers, the knowledge that he was going to die... It sickens him. ]
I don't think he meant to hurt me. Not until the end of the argument, anyway.
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He knows Yuji planned to do something for Nanami's birthday, he knows Nanami died and thus would know the added weight the day carries, and yet...?
He makes a noise, close to a soft hum, sympathetic but with his bewilderment bleeding through. ]
Still, he knew, that's- [ Hm. ] Did you have a disagreement about something else before that...?
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Nanami is dead. He’s not going to go home with them. He’s not coming back, and this is it. The idea of missing those precious moments and those important memories makes him ache and hurt, makes him feel that all too familiar grief - the knowledge that something else has been taken from him. It keeps slipping through his fingers and he doesn’t know quite how to manage it.
Instead… He carries it all in his heart.
Shaking his head, he sighs. ]
Only the stuff with Eresh-chan, but we talked about that, so…
[ He frowns. ]
I think they’re gonna… You know…
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